So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
