I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
