his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
