Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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