I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's on the porch naked. Help.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
