Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize