Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
