Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
