i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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