Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
