Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
