Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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