HIV tests are more positive than that guy
kristin has been a bad kristin
home. puking in laundry basket.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
