why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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