somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize