Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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