My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Non-Jews are for practice
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
