Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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