Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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