I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
