i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
