Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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