so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
