So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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