id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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