Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize