Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
