I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
