So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
