I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
