You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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