You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
