THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
