Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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