The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
