i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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