Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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