Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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