I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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