it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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