I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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