...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize