I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
