What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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