It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize