You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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