you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
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judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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