We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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