you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Two words: blizzard sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
