Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
