great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
