Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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