3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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