the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
