if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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