Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize