Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
