i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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