i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
