Kiss
Puke
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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