party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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